Testimony: "How I conquered my emetophobia after 15 years of suffering"

This testimony was collected with Marie’s agreement (name changed), who accepted to share her journey to inspire other people in the same situation.

”My life had become a prison”

Hello, my name is Marie, I’m 32 years old, and I’d like to share my story with you. For 15 long years, emetophobia controlled my life. Today, I can finally say I’ve regained my freedom.

It all started when I was 12 years old. A particularly violent gastroenteritis had kept me bedridden for three days. I still remember that night when I was alone, terrified, vomiting without being able to stop. That night marked the beginning of my 15 years of hell.

The first symptoms

At first, my parents thought I was just “difficult” with food. But it was much more than that:

I refused to eat in the school cafeteria
I obsessively checked expiration dates
I always carried a plastic bag in my schoolbag “just in case”
I avoided birthday parties and outings with friends

“You’re exaggerating, it’s all in your head” - how many times did I hear that?

Worsening in adulthood

Over the years, my fear intensified. At 20, I had become vegetarian for fear of spoiled meat. At 25, I no longer ate at restaurants. At 30, my list of “safe” foods fit on an A4 sheet.

My social life was non-existent:

No more outings with friends
Complicated romantic relationships
Categorical refusal to have children (fear of pregnancy vomiting)
Remote work to avoid office stomach bugs

The lowest point? When I refused a job I was really interested in because it required regular travel. I realized my fear was completely controlling my life.

The awakening

The breaking point

Everything changed on a Tuesday in March 2023. I had been invited to my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to be there so badly, but the thought of the meal, the crowd, the risk of someone getting sick… I sent a pathetic excuse message and stayed home.

I spent that evening crying, watching her wedding photos on social media. I realized I was missing out on the most important moments of my life because of an irrational fear.

That night, I made a decision: I was going to fight.

Finding help

I started by doing research online (something I’d avoided for years, too afraid of finding triggering content). I discovered that:

Emetophobia had a name and was recognized
I wasn’t alone - millions of people suffered from it
Most importantly: it was treatable

I found the contact of a CBT therapist specializing in phobias. The first phone call was terrifying, but Dr. Laurent immediately put me at ease.

The treatment journey

First sessions: understanding

The first three sessions were focused on psychoeducation:

Understanding the mechanisms of anxiety
Learning about my fear cycle
Dismantling my false beliefs

The revelation: Learning that vomiting was a natural protective mechanism, not a dangerous disease, was the first crack in my anxiety wall.

Relaxation techniques

Before tackling exposure, Dr. Laurent taught me anxiety management tools:

Heart rate coherence:

4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds hold, 8 seconds exhale
5 minutes twice a day
Incredible effect on my general anxiety level

Progressive muscle relaxation:

Tension/relaxation of each muscle group
Particularly effective for the nausea I felt constantly

Graduated exposure: the key to healing

This was the hardest but most effective part. Dr. Laurent designed a progressive program:

Level 1: Words (weeks 1-2)

Writing the words “vomit,” “nausea,” “sick”
Reading them aloud
Creating sentences with these terms

Initial SUDs: 8/10 After 2 weeks: 3/10

Level 2: Descriptions (weeks 3-4)

Reading detailed descriptions of vomiting episodes
Listening to audio descriptions
Writing my own scenarios

Initial SUDs: 9/10 After 2 weeks: 4/10

Level 3: Images (weeks 5-8)

Starting with cartoons and drawings
Progressing to photos of objects (buckets, bathrooms)
Ending with carefully selected realistic images

Initial SUDs: 10/10 After 4 weeks: 5/10

Level 4: Videos (weeks 9-12)

Short clips without sound
Complete videos with sound
Movie scenes with vomiting

Initial SUDs: 10/10 After 4 weeks: 6/10

Behavioral challenges

Parallel to exposure, I had to confront my avoidance behaviors:

Week 1: Eating in the work cafeteria Week 3: Going to a restaurant with a friend Week 6: Trying a new food I’d avoided for years Week 8: Accepting a dinner invitation Week 12: Going to a social event with food

The digital tool that changed everything

Using a therapy app

At session 6, Dr. Laurent recommended I try a digital app (similar to what Calmena offers) to supplement our sessions:

Daily journal:

Recording my SUDs levels
Tracking my avoided foods
Noting my progress

Guided exposures:

Progressive exercises to do at home
Real-time SUDs tracking
Motivating progress statistics

AI personalization:

Exposure scripts adapted to my specific triggers
Cognitive restructuring exercises
Personalized relaxation sessions

The result: My progress accelerated significantly. Having tools available 24/7 made all the difference.

The results: a transformed life

Concrete improvements

After 6 months of treatment:

Food:

I eat in restaurants without anxiety
I cook for friends
I’ve rediscovered foods I’d avoided for 15 years
I travel and eat local specialties

Social life:

I attend all social events
I’ve met someone wonderful (we’re living together!)
I travel regularly for work and pleasure
I’m considering having children

Mental health:

My generalized anxiety has significantly decreased
I sleep better
I have confidence in myself again
I feel truly alive for the first time in 15 years

The decisive moment

The moment I knew I was truly healed? Six months after starting treatment, I was at a restaurant with my partner. The person at the next table suddenly felt unwell and ran to the bathroom.

My reaction: Instead of fleeing in panic, I felt… concern for this person. Normal, human concern. No paralyzing anxiety, no need to escape.

That’s when I understood: I was free.

My advice for those still fighting

It’s possible, I’m living proof

If someone had told me 2 years ago that I’d be writing this testimony, I wouldn’t have believed it. Today, I’m living proof that emetophobia can be overcome, even after 15 years.

What I wish I’d known sooner

You’re not alone: Millions of people suffer from this
It’s not your fault: It’s a real disorder, not weakness
Treatment exists: CBT with exposure works
Digital tools help: Apps can accelerate progress
Take your time: Recovery isn’t linear, and that’s normal

The importance of professional support

I can’t stress this enough: Don’t try to treat severe emetophobia alone. A qualified therapist is essential for:

Adapting treatment to your case
Supporting you through difficult moments
Avoiding relapses
Treating potential comorbidities

To families and loved ones

If someone close to you suffers from emetophobia:

Believe them: It’s not whims or exaggeration
Don’t minimize: “It’s all in your head” doesn’t help
Support them: Encourage them to seek treatment
Be patient: Recovery takes time

My life today

Simple pleasures rediscovered

Today, I do things that seemed impossible for 15 years:

I cook for friends without anxiety
I travel and discover new cuisines
I live with my partner without restricting our activities
I’m planning to have children
I help other people with emetophobia online

The paradox of healing

Something funny: now that I’m no longer afraid of vomiting, I… rarely think about it. The obsession has completely disappeared.

When I do vomit (yes, it happens to everyone sometimes), it’s just an unpleasant but temporary moment. Nothing more.

My message of hope

To everyone reading this and still struggling: Your situation is not hopeless. I’ve been where you are. I’ve felt that desperate fear, that impression that no one understands, that despair of never being “normal.”

But I’m here to tell you: Recovery is possible. You deserve a life without this fear. You deserve to eat what you want, go where you want, love who you want.

The tools exist. The treatments work. Qualified professionals can help you.

The only thing I regret? Not seeking help sooner.

Today, Marie leads a full and unrestricted life. She regularly helps others with emetophobia on online support forums and plans to train as a peer counselor to support people in recovery.

If Marie’s story inspires you and you’re ready to start your own healing journey, know that tools like Calmena are being developed to make treatment more accessible. Recovery is possible, and you deserve to live without fear.